A memo from Doctor Disrupto to all employees of the Consortium of Chaos

Memo from Doctor Disrupto to: all employees

My minions! Soon will be the hour of our victory! 

Some of you may have heard that I recently acquired a kilogram of Onzythrionite, a rare mineral that is the principle weakness of my arch-nemesis, Superlative Man.  Once I install it in the Megananolaser cannon mounted on my cyborg dinotron, Superlative Man will be helpless against me! He will have no choice but to leave the Earth or be destroyed, and then the governments of the world will be forced to accept me as their leader and dictator for life! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I’d like to take a moment to thank the villains in the Consortium of Chaos who helped bring this nefarious plan to fruition: First and foremost, Professor Pandemonium for the use of his orbiting space station. Without you, professor, we never would have been able to acquire the Onzythrionite that will be the ultimate doom of Superlative Man. Also, Liquidation Lass, without whom this project never could have gone forward. For the last two months, Liquidation Lass has been coming in on weekends and working holidays to make sure everything would go off without a hitch. If you see her in the hall or the break room, be sure to show her some appreciation!

Also, remember that there is a promotional incentive system in place for you this quarter. If you aren’t acquainted with it, let me take a moment to go over the plan with you. For every member of the League of Fairness, Z-Men, Teen Behemoths or Revengers (east or west coast teams)  that you defeat in combat, you will receive a $500 one-time commission! Also, all participants will be put in a drawing for an all-expenses-paid five day, six night package vacation to Cabo San Lucas. Outstanding, right? So get out there and show the forces of justice and good what you’re made of!

Oh, one last thing, the ice maker in the break room is out of service for now. According to the service technician who came in to look at it this morning, someone left a spoon in the ice hopper. So, just a reminder, the only thing that goes into the ice machine is ice, ok? Seriously, people. If you can’t keep our ice maker in working order I’m going to stop having it repaired. I’m not kidding. 

Sincerely,

Doctor Disrupto